For several years now I have had a constant battle with mental health, in my case this is depression, I first started becoming aware of it when I was about 15. Depression has affected my life in many ways, but it’s really affected my self-confidence more than anything, I have always been shy, ever since school and I find certain situations extremely uncomfortable.
Things have got a bit easier to deal with over the years, when I was in my school years I wouldn’t even go in a shop and ask for something, I always sent my best friend in instead, now I do that without much fuss, although I do prefer to use the self checkout when possible.
That being said there are some things that get me so worked up to the point where I can feel psychically sick. Recently I had to do a first aid course for my job, and there were certain parts of that which involved role play in front of a group of people, which is one of the hardest things for me, my hands were shaking constantly, I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to get out of there, but I didn’t, I completed the course, and even better no one said I didn’t do it right.
Which brings me to my next point and that is, does anyone even notice that I feel this way? Is it all in my head? Why do I feel so insecure and obsolete against my peers? As far as I can tell I am no different, I believe there are many people out there that must feel the same way I do, I am not unique with this feeling. Telling myself that does provide some form of relief, not that I want other people to feel how I do, but that I am not alone in this.
Fitness has been a very difficult thing to get motivated for with this issue, I joined a gym but as you can imagine I found that very difficult with a lot of people around me, let alone just getting motivated to go to the gym on the bad days with my depression. So it wasn’t long before I stopped going, but I didn’t give up on fitness, I started doing it from home. I downloaded fitness apps, watched videos on YouTube and did research online, I must have searched just about every home and fitness topic I could think of, which is my main reason for wanting to share this information with others. I’m by no means perfect when it comes to exercise but I can help, advise and continue learning at the same time.
So what is my motivation? Well my life has significantly improved over the past few years, I have a wonderful partner who I am engaged to, and I have my lovely stepson and my beautiful daughter who bring me so much joy (and tiredness). So although things may be a struggle for me sometimes, having my family at home keeps me going, its taken me awhile to realize that but I need them just as much as they need me, maybe even more. They are my motivation for self-improvement.
I have got myself in better shape over the last year, I have lost a lot of weight, and I exercise a lot more, while continuing to do this my next goal is to quit smoking, Its proving to be very difficult, I have so far cut down from 20 a day to 7, which I feel a lot better for and I will keep pushing until I quit.
So that is a bit about my life and my struggles, we all have them, maybe you have your own battles, if you’d like to share them or let me know what you think of the post then please comment. Thank you for reading. 🙂
Author: James Burch
James is a health and fitness enthusiast who loves to try and help people. He writes from both knowledge and experience to give people guidance in all areas of health and fitness.